


a bit

by EAST (WESTAGE)



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Comedy, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, One-Sided Attraction, Palming, Pining, and shane gets turned on, ryan does his ricky goldsworth voice, shyan, stuck in a closet, they’re both really fucking dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 16:25:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16453319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WESTAGE/pseuds/EAST
Summary: “Shane didn’t consider himself to be an awfully kinky man, but if he did have a kink, it had to be Ryan Bergara.”In which Ryan won’t stop doing his Ricky Goldsworth bit, and Shane can’t stop thinking about being in love with him.





	a bit

Everyone in the world, except Ryan Bergara himself, knew that Shane Madej was in love with Ryan.

Of course, Shane hadn't come out and told anyone, but somehow, everyone just _knew_. 

Like Andrew, who'd quietly leave the seat next to Ryan empty on purpose to let Shane sit next to him. 

Or Steven, who'd suddenly postpone his own plans with Ryan whenever Shane asked Ryan to hang out (Of course, Steven being Steven, wouldn't do this without passing Shane an _annoying_ wink). 

Even when he, Kelsey, and Ryan  decided to have dinner together one night, Kelsey cancelled last minute, leaving it to be only him and Ryan. Of course, Shane wanted to write this off as a mere coincidence, and enjoy Ryan's company without the nagging feeling that he was being too obvious, but Kelsey had taken the liberty of texting him two smiley faces: _":D :D"_

But all of this didn't matter to Shane. At least, _at least_ Ryan hadn't figured it out. He knew that Ryan would never hate him for being absolutely _gay_ , or for being in love with Ryan, but he knew Ryan would treat him differently.

Yes, Ryan _'No-Homo'_ Bergara would definitely make things _weird._

And Shane didn't want to deal with _any_ of that. After all, it wasn't Shane's fault that he was in love with Ryan. If anything, it was Ryan's own. 

Who told him to be so adorable? Who gave him the right to wear all those tight shirts? It definitely wasn't Shane who asked him to work out; no, Ryan just had to go and decide to model his abs after those of a Greek God's. And all those dumb things he'd always do: constantly cowering behind Shane whenever he'd hear the fucking _wind_ , the way he'd try to be brave about things he was definitely terrified of, the wheezing, the way his face would crinkle up whenever he'd laugh too hard. 

Did he just _have_ to be so endearing?

Shane had come to the conclusion that no sane gay man would be able to resist Ryan Bergara. 

But Shane was okay with all of this being just a passing crush. Yes, he was sure that it would pass. It _had_ to. He had no intention of ever, _ever_ telling Ryan how much he wanted to throw him against a wall and—

No, Shane didn't want to think about _that_ again. He didn't need his own mind randomly trailing back to those thoughts, because these days, Ryan Bergara was making Shane's mind wander plenty of times already.

You see, Ryan Bergara had a problem, and it had become an even _bigger_ problem for Shane.

And that problem was: _Ricky Goldsworth._

Ricky Goldsworth was a funny character Ryan thought up of, for a dumb bit. Except, that _character_ managed to send shivers up Shane's spine, as Ryan ordered him around in that dominant tone of his, and gave him _that_ look.

Shane didn't consider himself to be an awfully kinky man, but if he did have a kink, it had to be Ryan Bergara.

He wondered if the sexual tension he felt every time Ryan talked that way was his own brain fucking him over, or if it really was _that_ sexy.

Of course, Shane thought those shivers, and the feeling of his pants tightening up around his crotch, would be just like his crush on Ryan: they would pass. It would be a one time thing, and it would _never_ happen again.

Except, the internet encouraged Ryan into thinking his Ricky Goldsworth was really _that_ funny of a bit, and Ryan ended up making it a _thing._

It was like the time when he heard Ryan exercise. The obscene sounds he made haunted Shane's mind for _days_ and after he finally managed to get the thought of Ryan's _loudness_ out of his mind, he had to deal with _this._

Shane hated this. Now, Ryan would randomly pull out his Ricky personality, even at times when they weren't filming, and Shane had to forcefully _will_ himself into not creaming his pants in public.

He even tried to let Ryan know that he didn't find the voice funny once. It didn't work. Ryan took that as a funny bit too.

If the internet was a person, Shane knew he'd be the first on the list to drop kick their face in.

But of course, it wasn't only the internet's fault. Literally everyone around Buzzfeed encouraged Ryan too, and Ryan, being the _oblivious straight male_ that he is, would put on a show with Ricky for every girl that asked him to.

Shane wanted to kick all of them too.

Then, it finally happened. And Shane was ready to take full blame for this situation he had gotten himself into. 

After all, it was _his own fucking fault_ for letting his guard down. 

They were in the middle of filming one of the episodes for the Supernatural season. Shane was pissing off Ryan as usual, and Ryan was getting pissed off, as usual.

Everything was playing out well, until they decided to step into a closet together. The door to the closet suddenly slammed shut, and Ryan yelped.

He and Shane both struggled with the door knob, but it wouldn't budge.

"I think it's stuck," their friend TJ called out from outside the locked door.

"Yeah, I think we figured that out by ourselves, Teej," Shane said, laughing, because Ryan was already having a meltdown.

TJ and the rest of the camera crew said that they'd go look for something to open the door with, and Shane decided to lighten the mood.

As much he liked seeing Ryan scare himself to death over something as dumb as a jammed door; Ryan was standing face to face with Shane, with his thigh was pressed up against Shane's crotch, and him struggling and making nervous movements wasn't doing Shane any favors.

So Shane tried the old _"Do the ghosts not want us to come out of the closet?"_ , to which Ryan snorted, and then suddenly, switched to his god damn _Ricky Goldsworth_ voice and said, _"I'd fucking shut up if I were you."_

Shane didn't laugh. He couldn't believe hearing Ryan do something as mundane was _swear_ had made his breathing go heavy.

The darkness and the tight space didn't help much with this.

Shane tried again.

"Come on Ryan, it's an old door and it got jammed. Nothing unusual."

"You don't find this at all _weird_ that the door _shut by itself?_ "

"It was the wind, Ryan."

And there came the Ricky persona again, this time even more commanding, telling Shane to fuck off and die, and Shane was sure he was going to, if the door didn't open soon.

Shane tried to ignore the heat that was building up in his groin. He tried to think of anti-sexy things, like houses, shoes, _women_...

And Ryan fucking decided to _groan_ as Shane's heart stopped, shifting his leg so that it grinded against Shane’s crotch, as Shane determinedly continued his mantra of _"cars, lamps, my grandma—"_

"Um, dude... do you have a boner?" He heard Ryan's voice ask, and all of Shane's attention suddenly snapped back into Ryan's face, which was looking up at him, wearing an expression he couldn't quite read in the dark.

An expression of... satisfaction?

"It — I, uh, probably? I don't know," Shane didn't know what else to say.

"I didn't know you were into me," Ryan said, in a voice that was neither Ricky Goldsworth nor happy-go-lucky Ryan Bergara.

And it made Shane want to scream.

"I'm — It was an acc—"

"Well I'm into you," Ryan said, in a hushed whisper, cutting across Shane’s panicked excuse, “I do like you quite a bit, Shane.”

Shane couldn’t take it anymore. He left behind all caution, leaned down, and met Ryan’s lips half way.

It was hungry, and the way Ryan kissed him made Shane’s mind go blank. He felt everything at once: Ryan’s god-like shoulders which he rested his hands on, Ryan’s lips which were ravaging his own, Ryan’s palm quickly going over his pants, and Ryan. _Ryan._

Shane was glad it was dark. He didn’t want Ryan to see what a mess he had become as he came in his pants.

He could almost feel Ryan’s smirk against his lips as he did.

*****

Walking out of the closet half an hour later and acting like nothing had happened was stupidly difficult for Shane, as he was over the moon happy with all the things that _had_ happened.

He now had a _boyfriend_ , and it was none other than Ryan fucking Bergara. 

Shane began to mentally thank the ghosts and demons that had locked them in there, when he suddenly caught Teej’s eye, who gave him a smirk and a thumbs up.

And once again Shane’s firm faith was renewed: _Ghosts aren’t real._


End file.
